Been awhile since I made any updates.
I’m struggling with writing. Have been. I’ve tried rereading through what I have, tried drawing stuff for it in the meantime. Part of my problem is uncertainty—I’ve had this story (the main plot points, I guess) planned out for literally years, have mentally gone over each event over and over. But now that I’ve gotten to the point where I need to write some of these scenes, really get into them, I’m too afraid to.
This isn’t like Spectral. Spectral was fun—at first—to write. I went with the flow, made things up as I went, and it turned into something greater. But Astral is different. There’s real intention behind it, with a message I’m afraid to touch.
Skai represents the “void” with almost every thought and feeling—loneliness, fear, self-loathing. Everything around her feels pointless, temporary. She suffers from what the French call l’appel du vide, literally “the call of the void”, the little voice that whispers jump when you’re hovering over a high place. The longing to reconnect with darkness and feel nothing. Her urge to jump only gets stronger as the story goes on.
I’m afraid because little pieces of me exist in this character. I write from her heart, I feel what she feels. And I’m afraid to live what she lives.
I guess as writers we risk being consumed by our creations.